Jaws

Keen swimmers amongst you may be pleased to know that Ian Steadman has done the maths in the New Statesman:

You are more likely to be bitten by Luis Suarez (1 in 2,000) than a shark (1 in 3,700,000)

Of course he is not the only sportsman to be punished for biting. There is a list here. My favourite, complete with accompanying YouTube, is Francisco Gallardo.

In 2001, the Sevilla striker was fined and suspended by the Royal Spanish Football Federation for biting the penis of his team-mate José Antonio Reyes during a goal celebration. The federation said that his behaviour was not in line with the "sporting behaviour and decorum" of La Liga's players. Gallardo for his part did not see what all the fuss was about. "I am sure I didn't offend anyone," he said. "I don't think what I did was very noteworthy."